If you’re planning to host or participate in a memorial service to scatter a loved one’s ashes, you might be wondering what you should say.
Finding the right words to honor a loved one at their memorial service can feel like a daunting task. Especially if you’ve never done it before.
In this blog post, we’ll share some ideas of what to say while scattering ashes that will hopefully give you a spark of inspiration.
Before we get into recommendations on specific memorial service sayings, here are some general suggestions to consider.
Here are just a few tips you should keep in mind when you are expected to share a few words at a sea burial ceremony.
Keep it short. It’s easy to find yourself rambling when speaking about someone who has passed, especially if that person was very close to you. If you can, try to keep yourself from going too long. It’s helpful to know what your beginning, middle and end are. That way, you can bring yourself back on track if you find that you’ve gone too far off your intended message.
Speak from the heart. In the following section, we’ll make some recommendations on what you might say for a ceremony of spreading ashes. Whatever you decide to do, speak from the heart and be present in the moment.
Have some notes, just in case. Sometimes speaking from the heart means going off-script. Maybe you don’t even have a script. That’s fine! But it’s impossible to predict how you might feel when the moment finally comes. Ash scattering ceremonies can be emotional. Even if you plan on improvising your part, it’s wise to at least have some notes handy in the event your emotions make it difficult to speak.
Now let's get into some ideas for what you can say or explore while speaking at an ash scattering ceremony.
Here are some general ideas on approaches you can take when speaking at an ash scattering ceremony, including a few specific words you might use.
Read a passage from a holy book like the Bible. Books like the Bible are full of wisdom and depth that are fitting for an ashes ceremony. You don’t need to read a full passage (unless you want to). Here are some Bible verses that we have heard people say when scattering ashes:
Read (or write) a poem. Like Bible verses, poetry can create special moments during a sea ceremony. Here are a few poems that have lines you might read for inspiration:
Share a personal story. You can never go wrong by sharing a meaningful personal story or memory. Shared special memories that are appropriate for ceremonies might be funny, inspiring, or illuminating. Avoid any funny stories that may cast the deceased in a negative light, unless you know that it is humorous and that those in attendance will see the humor in it clearly. After all, humor is one of the best cures for grief and loss.
If you're able, sing a song. Not everyone should listen to this recommendation. But if you are the type of person who has a good singing voice, finding a suitable song or hymn to sing during the ceremony is thoughtful and meaningful. Remember, don't go on too long. It's a good idea to find the most relevant lyrics and sing those.
Hold a moment of silence. If you're having trouble figuring out how to end your words during a ceremony of scattering a loved one's ashes, holding a moment of silence is easy and profound.
For more specific recommendations on what you can say, read our post on 25 quotes and poems you can use while speaking at an ash scattering ceremony.
If you are interested in spreading ashes of a loved one in Southern California, contact us to learn how we can accommodate this important moment.
